It’s been over a month since I became seriously sick. I thought I would get better and jump back into normal life, but I’ve realized it is a lot harder than that. Simple tasks, like making a meal, were next to impossible because I was unable to remember what I was doing. Even the basic task of using my computer turned into something that I had to re-learn. It’s a difficult thing to explain, but Sepsis seriously messes with your brain and cognitive function. Thankfully, I’m feeling drastic improvements that are making life feel much more “normal.”
I know, very well, that I would not still be here without God protecting me and saving me, multiple times. The first time I realized I was very close to death was the night and day where the infection set in. Without antibiotics, toxic blood will kill you very quickly. Yet, it was in those moments where I felt God’s presence the strongest. There was nothing scary about dying, just the unfathomable presence of God surrounding me and keeping me on the earth.
The next time I felt like I might die, my brain was a bit more functional, and I freaked out. The infection caused major pain in my heart that was unrelenting. The pain was accompanied by shortness of breath and the loss of circulation in my hands, feet, and limbs, brain, whatever wasn’t receiving the needed blood flow at the moment. These symptoms would get significantly worse at night time. If I tried to lie down, I would struggle to breath even more, and honestly, felt like I might not wake up in the morning.
This was accompanied by great frustration. My primary doctor put in an urgent referral for a cardiologist… but the military treatment facility bombed that (somehow), meaning, they failed to see me urgently in the 72 hours required. And, they argued with me all along the way. There’s nothing like feeling you might actually die while waiting to see a doctor… but I had serious hope of suing them when I got better. Yeah… you have to hold on to hope ;)
Once the needed tests were performed by the cardiologist, I’d have the proof required to push ahead with a malpractice suit… I just had to live long enough to get there! So, I possibly, may have prayed that God would heal me after my cardiology appointment. But, I felt God ask me, “Do you want a lawsuit or do you want to live…?”
It was the night before I was scheduled to see the cardiologist and my symptoms were terrible. I had tried to go to sleep, but after each extremely heavy breath, I felt like I might not have the strength to take another one. I got out of bed and moved the recliner, with the hope that sitting up might help me to breathe better. Unfortunately, this time it was not helping. Each breath continued to get harder and harder to take and I could feel each heartbeat become slow and sporadic. In a panic, I stood up and started wiggling my body, hoping that my heart rate would pick up. But, I was only exhausting my already exhausted self and wasting the breaths that I had.
Once this painful revelation set it, I grabbed my phone and knew I had to call 911. With my breathing at this rate, I knew I only had a few minutes left. But, as I started dialing, I remembered I had an emergency prayer line saved on my phone. I decided to call John G. Lake Ministries instead.(www.jglm.org/)
I could barely speak (go figure, not being able to breathe makes that hard!), and when the voice said, “hello…” I whispered, “I have an infection in my heart.”
The man started to pray for me. I don’t remember what he said at all, but I felt my heart THUD. And then, it started beating normally! Those beats were music to my ears! As my heart began to beat, I was suddenly able to breathe again. All I could say was, “thank you, thank you, thank you!!”
I knew in that instant, God had saved my life and kept me from death, again.
The next morning, I went in for an echocardiogram, and miraculously, everything looked normal. It sure wasn’t normal the day before, but my heart was HEALED!
The fullness of the healing in the rest of my body had come slowly, some days, very frustratingly, but I’m so thankful to say that it is COMING! I feel like I am 98% there, hence all the posts on the computer, because I can use it again ;) and I’ve dropped my notions of lawsuits, because I have something much better to hope in!
As I was thinking earlier, I felt like God said, “It’s time for raining miracles.” Rain is one of those things that must happen in order to plants, and everything, to have life. But, if it’s going to rain to sustain life, wouldn’t it be amazing if those raindrops were miracles all around you? What kind of miracles are you believing God for? Share them with us, and we’ll agree in prayer to see God rain miracles in your life!
Blessings of rain, my friends!
OH, and that phone number…save it in case you ever need emergency prayer, or know someone who does: 1-888-293-6591
There’s no type of catch, nothing financial, just people who love Jesus, love you, and want to see you healed!
Is a wife, mother of four, author of Re:Birth, and lover of afternoon naps.