Responding to Negative Remarks

     I haven't shopped at Target in years. Living in the south made us dependent on super Wal-Mart's, but Connecticut's Wal-Mart's just don't compare. My husband went to Target recently and told me to check it out; he said they had a good selection of healthy foods without the Wholefoods price tag. 
 
     We went this afternoon and I was pleased, until it was time to leave. See, I retired from self-checkout lanes when my first child unloaded all of the gum sticks to the floor as I diligently worked to scan and bag our items. Now with three, self-checkout is senseless unless I'm purposely trying to raise my blood pressure. 
 

    This means I have to interact with humans. Normally, I really enjoy this. After all, my time on the checkout line is likely my only outside interactions with people who can use the bathroom by themselves. Today, the woman started by counting my children and giving them each a sticker. She noticed my belly and my three-year-old divulged that there could be two babies inside. I was measuring much further along and was awaiting another ultrasound to confirm my due date and the number of babies growing inside me! This  slightly baffled the cashier. Yes, five children under the age of six would be a lot!
​
      She gave me my change and I took a few steps forward before putting the money in my wallet so she could check out the next customer in-line.
 
     Clearly, the cashier thought I was out of earshot as she began to divulge all of her thought about me to the next customer. 
 
      "What is she thinking!!" She said. "Clearly, she doesn't even know!"
 
     I stood there baffled for a moment. Really? I'm like two feet away and you're bashing me to another complete stranger?
 
      I was angry. My first thought was this is why I shouldn't shop at Target. Clearly, a company that allows men in the women's changing area would have employees that don't respect life or customers who choose that. You'd think they would welcome large families because they have to spend more. But that's not the case anymore these days. I contemplated emailing management and starting a social media war #boycotttarget and getting all my pro-lifers involved. But I didn't. 
 
     As I was loading up my car, the scripture, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” came to mind (Matt. 5:44), so I stopped my complaining and prayed for her. I'm sure she never planned to be working as a cashier in her 40’s. Her life probably didn't go as she planned, and neither had mine. I didn't plan for a 4th baby and certainly didn't do some crazy fertility dance in hopes of having twins. 
 
     Truth be told, we were in the same boat.
 
     But I chose to take two lessons from the angry cashier:
 
     1) Live joyfully. The cashier seemed miserable standing there, and I seem pretty miserable at 8:30 pm when I'm exhausted and trying to finish the dishes and get my kids to bed. But, I can choose to be joyful and not spread misery. A sink filled with dirty dishes isn’t nearly as toxic as an angry mama.
 
     2) Don't speak badly about anyone, ever. When we speak badly about someone, we minimize an entire human being to our meanest assumptions about them. Is it any wonder God would instruct us not to gossip, after all, we’re speaking about His creation (for more scripture on this topic, check out Belief.net ).  We all make mistakes and we're all works in progress, but the important part is to keep growing! As Chrissy Weems tweeted, "sometimes we win, and sometimes we learn."

     If you feel like you’ve got your tongue under control, I challenge you to take it to the next level and not think badly about anyone.  When you meet a difficult person, ask God what He thinks about them? His thoughts are good, and they just might surprise you!
 
    And if you’re still wondering about the possibilities of twins? An ultrasound confirmed it’s only one!
 
     Has anyone ever negatively commented about your family’s size, names, or dress? How did you respond? I’d love to hear your response in the comment section!